PED Confession

Atlanta Braves’ outfielder Jurickson Profar has been suspended 80 games for testing positive for use of a PED (Performance-Enhancing Drug). This is not something new for Major League Baseball. Back in 2013, they had a big-time problem with PED use. With all the lying and denying by superstars like Braun and A-Rod, I decided to come clean before my past caught up with me. 

I am ashamed of my actions and want to clear the air before any official probe into my years working as a morning DJ.  While in Atlanta, I was hopelessly addicted to PEDs.  That’s right, Performance-Enhancing Donuts.  Sure, almost everyone I knew who had a morning radio show was on PEDs, but that is no excuse.  Heck, management turned a blind eye toward the rampant abuse of these dangerous pastries.  There were many times when boxes of PEDs were passed around the building and left wide open on the table in the break room.  But still, not a word from those in charge.  Cinnamon, old-fashioned, glazed, cream-filled, blueberry, pumpkin spice, chocolate-covered… impossible to resist.  Eating one would lead to snarfing down another and another.  Like a zombie, I tranced-walked down the station hallways following the mouth-watering aromas wafting from the break room.  

Just say NO

Did PEDs help my game?  I cannot say for sure, but during a hot morning show topic with every in-studio phone line blinking, that shot of sugar surely didn't hurt.  Fooling myself?  Most likely.  But in a world where ratings meant everything, it became so easy to convince myself that to be on an even playing field with my competition (who I am convinced were also on PEDs), any extra “help” could only be beneficial to me. 

With this admission of PED abuse, the Georgia Radio Hall of Fame will likely take a closer look at my 2011 induction.  But a word of warning to the powers that be.  Performance-Enhancing Donuts were widely used by DJs going back to the 1950s.  No doubt, almost every single inductee into the Hall of Fame has on more than one occasion used PEDs. 

Finally, I apologize to my loyal listeners, my co-workers, my morning show partner Randy (also a PED junkie), and to my family for my lack of judgment involving Performance-Enhancing Donuts.  I am so very sorry.